Biki Brilliance

I want you all to know that you are invited to a “biki” upon the arrival of my first child. Here you are officially invited if you get handed chewing gum but I might not take the time to do that for mine.

For those of you who don’t know what this brilliant idea is: it is a baby naming ceremony! So if you innocently forget about ’bikis’ and so considerately ask moms in the hospital what their child’s name is and they looks at you like you’re a dud, it’s because duh, Jenny! There hasn’t been a biki yet!

I think it’s a magnificent because it happens after the baby is born, which means you won’t get everyone and their mother’s opinion about the name you picked for your child. Like “really, you want to name him Tumnus?!! I knew a Tumnus once and he was a weirdy….”.

You just announce it and BAM, child‘s name is accepted into society.

You also add some mystery into people's lives for a few days or so after the birth and just call your child some really fun pet name that’s associates him/her with smallness, like “cricket” or “chicken pock” or “skittle” or something (I don‘t know if they do this but I would).

And the couple dresses in all bright yellow (okay, just at this biki...but I figure any color to get more noticed, ya know?).

And afterwards, everyone goes outside and eats with just their right hands out of big bowls (which is more challenging than it sounds!).

And then the women can visit the mother in her room as she holds the baby and probably breast feeds….cute! And you give money...yay (please take note of this for when you attend my baby's biki).

My dad always tells me when I talk about babies that I have a few steps to go before I can pop out my own child…like man then marriage then pregnancy? What’s the order again? Whatever…boring minor details! But anyway, you’re invited.